It's not easy being a one woman show, it's also not easy referring to myself as a 'woman' I don't feel like I'm going to be 26 in about a month and feel like I should be more mature I still feel very much in 'girl' territory.
I do everything myself and sometimes I forget that there is only so much that my brain and body can take. I have cried a fair amount recently, I have gotten bogged down in thinking too much about things, I forget to enjoy what I do and that if I don't quite get that done today there is always tomorrow!
I compare myself to others when I shouldn't, I should be content in my achievements and what I have planned and allow myself some time off once in a while.
I think most of the self employed creatives I know feel the same, we throw out heart, soul and guts into what we do and at the end of the day we feel like failures if we didn't quite get that piece finished that day or we haven't replied to that email as quickly as we would like.
There is only so much one pair of hands and a single brain can do in 24 hours and we need to stop beating ourselves up and ease up the pressure that we place ourselves under nobody else is telling us off for not finishing/doing something that day. I am a firm believer that 99% of customers are patient and kind and will wait for a (reasonable) period of time for what they want because they believe in our work and are likely to ok if we say it's not always possible to do because they watch us work hard and know there must be a breaking point even if we don't give in to it ourselves.
We should not feel guilty for taking a day or hour off, to read a book or watch some appalling daytime TV, to see our children, family and friends. What other person leaves their job and feels guilty for not being at work? Most people can't wait for home time, I remember wishing those few hours at my old proper job would fly by so I could get the hell out of there and I never felt guilty for leaving and having the next day off! I didn't feel guilty that I didn't complete that task in that day, but that's probably because someone else could finish it if I wasn't there but in turn we shouldn't feel guilty because there is no one else to do it for us!
I love my job, I love that I get to fulfil my ambition and dream since the age of 14 to be a professional artist but I cannot allow it to fall apart because I think the only way to succeed is to almost kill myself by over working.
This is some of the work I've made in the past 2 months...I really need to cut myself a break as if I can do this I can do anything: